Many of us were raised by our parents and care givers to compete with our siblings. The situation is usually worse in a polygamous setting. Every now and again our parents deliberately or unconsciously compare us the children. We the lazy, stubborn and duller ones are made to feel inferior or treated as inferior to the brilliant, useful and obedient ones. Hence right from ages less than 10 we begin to strife and envy and compete with one another as siblings. Initially it’s subtle and elusive but with time it becomes more intense and deep.

Consequently the ones treated as inferior would want to prove they can be more successful in life and the ones treated as superior continue to believe they are the superior, preferred and favored ones and eventually the family breaks down, disintegrates and is characterized with several quarrels and misunderstandings.

This domestic dissention; common in most homes in Africa creates in us a negative attitude and energy we also carry into the work and career environment.

We keep competing, trying to out-do one another not in a healthy way by celebrating an eventual winner, but in a destructive way through a strong and frequent application of the pull him down philosophy.

So every day we keep strategizing, planning and scheming on how to pull down a performer instead of focusing our thoughts and intelligence on how to outdo or outperform the reigning champion.

Dear parents, no child is better than another, every child is different, if you want a peaceful and united family, respect this truth. Dear friend competition is good when healthy. It usually drives us to improve performance and raise the bar of effectiveness, efficiency and excellence. But when it is unhealthy and we keep pulling down one another and setting traps for one another, it consequently brings dissention, upholds mediocrity and backwardness. Other races surely do know how to support and celebrate their own. Think about this.